How to Choose a Co-founder and Work Well Together
Choosing a Co-founder
Choosing a co-founder is arguably the most important part of starting a company, yet for some reason, many founders treat it with less significance than hiring. This often leads to tension down the line that could’ve been easily avoided if the founders were just a bit more careful about who they started a company with. So, what should you look for in a co-founder, where should you look, and how can you work well together? Let’s dive in.
What to Look For
From what I’ve noticed, two or three co-founders seem to be the perfect team and the best co-founder relationships have a dynamic in which they balance each other out. There are obvious qualities to look for, such as someone who is smart, determined, and trustworthy, but everyone knows you want these in a co-founder. How about the non-obvious qualities?
Many founders don’t prioritize finding a co-founder with good communication skills. If someone is difficult to talk to, it’ll be hard for you to be open and honest about the company with them — you may also lack someone you can lean on for support during stressful times. More on this later in the blog post.
In addition, you want a calm and tough co-founder, especially if you feel like you aren’t yourself. So when you think your startup is about to die, your co-founder is calm and can help bring you back up, and when you think your startup is guaranteed an IPO, your co-founder is tough and can help bring you back to reality.
If you aren’t technical, you’ll also need a technical co-founder who can do things you can’t. So if you’re great at selling, talking to users, and getting customers, you’d preferably have a co-founder who’s great at building product, writing code, and developing software.
Paul Graham has this phrase he uses to describe a good startup founder that I love, and it’s “relentlessly resourceful.” You need a co-founder that is not merely relentless but resourceful as well, kind of like a running back in American Football – they want to get downfield, but they’re also flexible and can adapt their plans on the fly.
Where to Look
The best source for finding a co-founder is through the circle of people you already know – those you’ve had a long history with, where you have a sense of their character and how they’ll respond to challenging situations. This person would ideally be a close friend or colleague you’ve worked with before under stressful conditions.
If you’re in college, find classmates you think would be cool to work on a fun side project together and see what happens. Working on different projects with different people will help you develop a taste for who you like, what kind of skills you’re actually good at, and what kind of complementary skills you may need.
If you’re at a company, find colleagues who impress you and ask them if they’d be willing to work on something together in the evenings or weekends. If you work at a company with a strong engineering culture like Meta, it’ll be almost as co-founder rich as top universities.
If you’re very eager to start a company but don’t have a co-founder you can bring on board immediately, I suggest you wait and spend some time in industry to find a co-founder. This way, instead of struggling right now, you’ll have a better chance of success later on with all the benefits that come along with having a co-founder.
You might also ask those you’re closest to who they’d start a company with. Then you can get an introduction to each one of them and ask whether they’d be interested in working with you. By doing so, you’re expanding the tree of potential co-founders, and at least they’re still connected with people you know.
Working Well Together
Once you’ve chosen a co-founder, you have to figure out how to optimize the co-founder relationship so that it can last for 10+ years, and that’s not an easy thing to do. My advice is to always watch out for tension brewing and address it immediately – don’t let it sit there and linger.
Marshall Rosenberg has this strategy called Nonviolent Communication, which I’m a big fan of. It is essentially a way of communicating with one another and giving feedback without making things personal. If you want to learn more, here’s an excellent article on “How to Deliver Constructive Feedback in Difficult Situations” by Dave Bailey that goes into further detail.
Wrapping Up
The most successful startups in history – Apple, Microsoft, Google – all had co-founders when they first started. And in those days, Steve Jobs had Steve Wozniak to lean on, Bill Gates had Paul Allen, and Larry Page had Sergey Brin. Without a doubt, your co-founder is the most important ingredient when it comes to starting a company, so don’t settle for less.